It was my own fault. I should have been up and about, but I was having a lazy morning of it. Sat in bed with my coffee, catching up on my correspondence, aka doom scrolling Facebook.
I don’t doom scroll X (Twitter) any more because I terminated my account and immediately found myself with more freedom to relax, and work, and study, and write etc, and life is indeed good. Except that Facebook still exists.
But anyway, scrolling to see what my old housemates were up to these days, and what suspicious scrotely deeds my neighbour’s had reported, I came across an Advert for a model train.
Its a model train. I recognise the type of train it is, and I would quite like one in my collection, but there was no indication of scale, manufacturer, price etc. I wasn’t intrigued enough to click the link, but I did slide left to see what else was for sale.
About three images in I was stopped in my tracks. I didn’t know whether to be offended by crass merchandising, or impressed with an inventive way to creatively honour God and spread the message.
Its an imitation lego portrayal of the crucifixion. This is quite likely to be AI, the brick studs don’t make sense if its real. There is a tile that says “Lost” on the cross, and a tombstone that says “Jesus”. The whole scene is preposterous, but by now I am half tempted to buy it.
I click. I am directed to the Play Store to download the Ali Express App. I don’t. Instead, I return to the ad, and see what other nonsense they are peddling.
They have quite the range of lego sets. A Star Bug from Red Dwarf, Ghostbusters HQ, Battlestar Galactica. Even a ruined fortress, in lego. Its like they read my childhood mind. And this is just a small sample. They have Star Trek, and Stargate and all sorts.
I would be very tempted to buy a Lego tube train, especially if it was less than half price. The one on the right looks like the Orient Express.
And its not just lego stuff.
They have DVD sets that don’t look quite right.
They even have space saving things.
Who wouldn’t want an inflatable sofa with a foot bath in their garden?
But things get even weirder.
Are Cod Pieces making a come back? I have no idea what this is or why there is any sort of demand for it.
I can guess what these might be, and shudder at what they might be for, but shouldn’t they be individually wrapped?
Again, not sure what I am looking at here. It seems to be a powered self inflating bra.
What even is this? Is it life size? Is it alive? A robot with specialised purpose?
Maybe its a doll, but it doesn’t seem to be jointed.
They do sell ball jointed dolls, though, if anyone is interested. These are presumably like Cindy and Barbie type things. I don’t know why they’re named though.
The less said about this next one the better.
I will say one thing, they have Dr Who costumes, or at least one. The least popular one. The one that probably destroyed the show. But thats all in the past.
Genuinely don’t know what to make of all of this, except that perhaps, Woolworths was the best place to buy lego and trainsets. We all miss Woolworths.
Edited to add…
Shortly after publishing this post, I saw another advert on Facebook, more Christianity repackaged as imitation lego playsets.
I do not believe this set exists. It looks like AI to me. So whats the scam?
I don’t know, but I want out.
Duggan's Dig 
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